Smoke Alarm Sick Of Being Yelled At For Doing Its Job
CHICAGO—Voicing anger over what it described as a severely hostile work environment, a local smoke alarm announced Monday that it was fed up with being yelled at for simply doing…
Couple Thankfully Not Well-Liked Enough To Have Superspreader Wedding
PORTSMOUTH, NH—Following the bride-and-groom-to-be’s decision to celebrate their union with loved ones despite the ongoing pandemic, sources reported Thursday that local couple Caitlin Hughes and Thomas Radke were thankfully not…
Woman Just Wants To Date Guy Who Can Make Her Laugh, Like Cartman
SAN FRANCISCO—Admitting that it was tough sometimes to find a man who shared her crude, unfiltered sense of humor, local 29-year-old Stephanie Burton told reporters Tuesday she just wanted to…
Police Officer Shuts Off Body Camera Out Of Respect For Dying Victim
NEW YORK—Deciding that it wouldn’t be right to try to capture video of another human being in his final moments, NYPD police officer Tom Sloane reportedly shut off his body…