‘Scientific American’ Endorses Presidential Candidate For First Time In 175 Year History
Scientific American released an editorial condemning Donald Trump and urging readers to vote for Joe Biden, citing his plans on the coronavirus, health care, and the environment, marking the magazine’s…
Couple Thankfully Not Well-Liked Enough To Have Superspreader Wedding
PORTSMOUTH, NH—Following the bride-and-groom-to-be’s decision to celebrate their union with loved ones despite the ongoing pandemic, sources reported Thursday that local couple Caitlin Hughes and Thomas Radke were thankfully not…
George Orwell: 70 Years Later, His Sumptuous No-Bake Brownies Recipe Takes On New Urgency
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The Onion’s Fantasy Football Expert Gives His Pro Tips For Managing Your Team
Gary Borkowski, Onion Sports resident fantasy football expert and former NFL concessions worker, shares surefire strategies for analyzing matchups, finding overlooked sleeper picks, and scouring the waiver wire to improve…
Democratic Process In Peril As Millions Of Americans Chase After Mail-In Ballots Caught In Wind
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Confirming the nation’s social contract was on the brink of collapse, researchers from Harvard University’s Kennedy School of Government warned Thursday the democratic process was in peril as millions…
Gamers, We Should Be Thrilled To Share These New PS5 Images With You, But In Reality We’ve Been Dreading It Because Sometimes You Guys Are Fucking Mean
Okay, gamers, we’re going to level with you here. We’ve got some brand-new PS5 images that by all rights we should be super excited to share with you, but as…
New SVEN Initiative To Help Young Girls Become Swedish Scientists Who Ski Snowy Slopes
STORLIEN, SWEDEN—Stressing the campaign would provide more academic and deep-powder opportunities for female students, the Linköping Project announced their SVEN Initiative Thursday to help young girls become Swedish scientists who…