Virtual 2020 Emmy Awards Will Be Live Event
The 72nd Primetime Emmy Awards will broadcast live this Sunday hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, with performers and nominees participating from their homes. What do you think? “If it’s successful, maybe…
Fox News Slams CNN For Providing Biden Each Question Seconds Before He Answered It
WASHINGTON—Expressing outrage that the network’s moderators would stoop so low on a nationally televised town hall, Fox News pundits slammed CNN Friday for providing Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden each…
Trump Signs Executive Order Establishing ‘1946 Commission’ To Teach How America Started At President’s Birth
WASHINGTON—Telling reporters the organization would help combat decades of left-wing indoctrination about the country’s founding, Donald Trump signed an executive order Friday establishing the “1946 Commission,” a project dedicated to…
Conservative Conspiracy Theorist Outraged After Stumbling Upon Entire Netflix Section Dedicated To Kids
HOUMA, LA—Expressing disbelief about what he was seeing, local conservative conspiracy theorist Ted Biddle was reportedly outraged Friday after stumbling upon an entire section on Netflix dedicated to kids. “Jesus…
White House Vows To Have Something To Stick Into Your Arm By October
WASHINGTON—Stressing that the vial would be filled with liquid odds and ends, President Donald Trump vowed Friday to have something to stick into your arm by October. “Today, I pledge…
Effects Of Future Climate Change Migration
The rise of massive annual wildfires and hurricanes around the U.S. has shone a spotlight on whether certain areas of the country will be habitable in the future, a reality…
Scientists Study Brains Of Baseball Fans To Find Out How They Stay Interested During First 7 Innings
SEATTLE—Revealing that the mystery has baffled scientists for the past hundred years, researchers at the University of Washington announced Friday that they have been studying the brains of select baseball…
Exasperated Plumber Explains To Kanye West Why Flushing Awards Bad For Toilet
CALABASAS, CA—Reaching into the multi-platinum artist’s overflowing pipes and pulling out several feces-and-toilet-paper-covered trophies, exasperated local plumber Larry DeGroot explained to Kanye West Thursday why flushing large metal awards was…
Barbados To Remove Queen Elizabeth As Head Of State
The Caribbean island nation of Barbados plans to remove Queen Elizabeth as its head of state by the end of 2021 and become an independent republic. What do you think?…