Trump, Biden Campaigns Unveil Bold New Mouth Sounds
We have the latest on the coughs, hisses, hard swallows, lip smacks, and phlegmy throat clearings at the forefront of each campaign. Read more… Source link
Severely Injured Woman Heroically Fights Off Paramedics Trying To Force Her Into Medical Debt
Hear how this woman was able to fend off her would-be assailants, and what you should watch out for if you hear sirens headed your way. Read more… Source link
NASA Announces Plans To Launch Chimpanzee Into Sun
The scientific community is calling the monumental mission a crucial step forward toward better understanding how species react to being deposited into the sun’s 27 million-degree plasma core. You can…
Defensive Chicago Police Officer Perfectly Capable Of Disappearing Protestors Without Help From Homeland Security
OPR has the latest in this ongoing “turf war” between the Chicago Police Department and Homeland Security. Can the two sides find a way to brutalize citizens together? You can…
Authorities Abandon Search For Missing Girl After Finding Huge Bass While Dredging Lake
Police in Franklin Country, IL have called off their search for missing 12-year-old Brittany Morel after reeling in what they believe to be at least a 20-pounder, which would make…
Jimmy Carter Added To Mount Rushmore After Becoming 5th Former President To Bowl Perfect 300
Hear how Carter managed to pull off the amazing feat during an official PBA-certified game two weeks ago, earning his face a coveted spot on the massive stone structure. You…
U.S. Requires Hurricanes To Quarantine For 2 Weeks Before Traveling To Other States Along Coastline
The NOAA is ordering all tropical cyclones to storm in place for a minimum of 14 days before moving on to destroy other parts of the country. Read more… Source…
Nation’s CEOs Sign Pledge To Continue Fucking Over Americans
OPR has the latest on the One Percent’s shining commitment to oppress the powerless, even in the face of economic uncertainty during the pandemic. Read more… Source link
Frustrated Mayors Demand Constituents Stop Paying Such Close Attention To Everything They Do
In the wake of an unprecedented health crisis and mass protests against police brutality, all eyes are on local government officials to keep our communities safe. Hear just how sick…
Arctic’s Rapid Thawing Not Helped By Todd, A Guy Up There Rubbing His Warm Body All Over The Ice
Climate scientists have long confirmed that the fast melting of glaciers in the Arctic Sea can be attributed to greenhouse gases, but many admitted today that this guy Todd isn’t…