Ever paid for a ridiculously expensive drink in cash, hence it was “free”? Or spent an extra 30 bucks just to get “free” shipping? Or avoided looking at your credit card statement, because if you can’t see a spending problem then surely it will go away on its own? Welcome to the mental gymnastics of “girl math.”
Like most viral memes these days, “girl math” has some nuance to it. On the one hand, it’s silly and relatable; sometimes buying something on sale does kind of feel like the equivalent of contributing to your 401(k). On the other hand, it’s an unnecessarily gendered term reinforcing problematic stereotypes that equate women with consumption. Here’s what you need to know about “girl math” and why I believe there’s no such thing as a victimless meme.
What is “girl math?”
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According to KnowYourMeme, the trend originated in August with a video from @samjamessssss as a natural extension of “girl dinner.” If you missed that trend, “girl dinner” was used to describe the (sometimes bizarre) assemblage of snacks that women eat instead of a well-rounded dinner.
You could argue that “girl dinner” was a liberating move away from the expectation that women must always be perfect domestic creatures. You could also argue that girl dinner tended to perpetuate disordered eating habits and just created more pressure to perform femininity in a meme-able way. Basically, girl dinner was a whole other can of worms. (A literal can of worms: Perfect example of a girl dinner.)
Like girl dinner, “girl math” is meant to be cheeky and relatable. We’ve all made a financially unsound decision that we justify with irrational leaps of logic. Cash is free money! Buying something on sale means I’m making a profit! I “earned” this coffee because I left my house to go buy it! In the same way that girl dinner was code for “not real dinner,” it seems that girl math is code for “not real math.”
Witnessing this meme spread firsthand, I saw that girl math was created by the girls, for the girls. After all, in order for girl math to be funny, everyone involved needs to know the financial rule that is being broken. It’s can’t be about women actually being stupid; it’s tongue-in-cheek. “Boy math” emerged not too long after—also created by the girls. But where girl math made fun of irresponsible spending, boy math tended to mock excessive frugality. And those gender lines are where my issues lie. By packaging financial irresponsibility as a “girl” thing, it looks like girl math is surface-level fun with harmful implications.
The issue with “girl math”
As both a stand-up comic and a personal finance writer, I consider myself something of an authority in “girl math.” And on a more personal note, I’m no stranger to using this questionable logic on myself. I recently got my direct deposit on my apartment back: Forget the fact that it was my money originally—it felt like a straight-up profit.
Now I’m going to lean into my comedy brain more than my personal finance brain. Girl math is a modern repackaging of “women be shopping.” In other words, it perpetuates one of the most hack, regressive tropes of comedy: “Women are like This, and Men are like That.” Girl math is fun, until you take two seconds to examine why the word “girl” is there in the first place.
Whenever I put a meme under a microscope, I’m told “it’s not that deep.” I disagree. What we find funny reflects what we find true. I personally used girl math to laugh at my own financially unsound decisions; in this case, “girl math” feels like a self-aware inside joke, a way to laugh at myself alongside all the other girls who get it. On the other hand, someone else might be laughing because “girl math” reinforces what they’ve long believed to be true: Women are bad with money! Lol!
Why girl math sucks for your finances (and what you can do about it)
We’ve previously covered how many sources like to overstate the impact of small purchases, like your morning iced coffee, on your long-term finances. At the same time, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of spending more money because you’ve accepted that behavior as your new normal. From the high price tag of lifestyle creep, to inadvertently damaging your credit score, the costs of so-called girl math can add up quick.
So, if girl math is hurting your wallet, there are steps you can take to regain control of your spending. This doesn’t mean you have to go scarcity mode; give yourself permission to spend on priorities and things you genuinely enjoy. Buying expensive clothes doesn’t have to be justified with “girl math” if you’re able to budget in the indulgence with real math.
The idea of “cutting back on spending” is abstract and hard to achieve. It’s like saying you want to “learn how to cook” without ever picking out a recipe or buying any ingredients. Instead, you need specific, attainable goals to guide your spending. A simple tip to avoid unnecessary purchases is to write down the things you want to buy before you buy them. When you read over items on this “to-buy list,” you’ll be able to make a more thoughtful decision as to what you really need.
What it comes down to is feeling confident that you’re spending only on things you love. After all, we all have a money story—and it’s never as simple as “I’m bad with money.” For more, check out these steps to start healing your relationship with money. When you’re not wasting money on things you don’t love, you will make much better big financial decisions. Allow yourself to indulge, especially if these indulgences improve your overall relationship with your money—no matter your gender.