CORDOVA, TN—Praying that the Lord Almighty would help her understand the recent whistleblower reports about Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s treatment of migrant detainees, conservative evangelical woman Melissa Carson reportedly asked God Tuesday to give her strength to incorporate forced hysterectomies into her belief system. “Lord, show me how the forced removal of the uterus from multiple imprisoned women is evidence of our salvation by grace alone,” said the devout evangelical woman, scanning her Bible for a verse or two that might offer a reason for why ICE-affiliated physicians were performing hysterectomies on detained women, many of whom did not speak English and were not given information or choice about the procedures. “I know I’m asking an awful lot of you, Lord, but my religion teaches me that all life is sacred, and although I know you move in mysterious ways, I confess I am confused as to how forced hysterectomies fit into that. You are just testing me, Lord, and I know that, but I am going to need a little bit of divine help to understand this one.” At press time, Carson was praising the Lord for his guidance after remembering that the hysterectomies were completely justified because President Donald Trump was a divine being simply carrying out God’s will.