The locker room is a communal space. And just in case we’re not familiar with which personal hygiene tasks shouldn’t be performed in communal spaces, here is a brief, non-comprehensive list: Dry shaving one’s legs on a bench; toenail clipping; laying out a veritable salon’s worth of facial lotions, body creams, bespoke hair treatments, and makeup; and dyeing one’s hair in the shower (yes DYE-ing, like with boxed hair color, we have seen it with our own two eyes).
Of course, no locker room etiquette takedown would be complete without mentioning the scourge formally known as: Naked People Standing Around For An Hour Just Talking and Being Super Naked (and trying to talk to you while all the bits they were born with dangle free). If you’re one of those free-spirited souls who’s comfortable letting it all hang out in a public space, kudos to your lack of fucks to give—sincerely. But please, this isn’t the French Riviera, it’s a sweat hole in central Jersey. Let’s take other people’s delicate, Puritan sensibilities into consideration and towel up.