Uncrustables hit the freezer section of nearly every major grocery store before I hit puberty, but I didn’t have one until yesterday afternoon. Though I hated bread crusts as a kid, I also had an aversion to jellies, jams, and any food that jiggled—but the real stumbling block was my mom’s aversion to buying white bread. (If you’re dealing with a picky eater, take heart: They will probably grow out of it, and they could grow up to be me.)
Now I have had two (2) Uncrustables, one of which was waffled, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the experience. Un-waffled, the crimped sandwich tastes like any other PB&J made on squishy, bouncy white bread. It is not bad, but it is fairly unremarkable, and certainly not better tasting than one you would make yourself. Unless you have children who constantly demand to be fed, you may think you don’t have any use for this particular convenience food, but you’d be wrong. Uncrustables have the potential to become quite the tasty treat—they just need a little bit of waffling.
I cannot take the credit for this beautiful idea. In fact, I had largely forgotten about Uncrustables until the brilliant ladies at The Hold Up posted a photo of the waffled sandwich on their Instagram. (And that’s not all Sam and Molly have contributed to the Uncrustables conversation—an entire episode of their podcast is dedicated to the sandwich, and it features far more patent law talk than one might expect.)
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But even if a waffled Uncrustable had been their “only” contribution to the sandwich discourse, it would have been enough for me. A just-thawed, “raw” Uncrustable is kind of rubbery, and completely devoid of contrast and texture. A waffled one, on the other hand, is warm, toasty, and inviting. The outside is crisped and filling is softened; if not for its tell-tale shape, you’d never know this sandwich had come from the freezer mere minutes before.
Waffling an Uncrustable is very easy. Set your waffle maker to medium heat and, while it’s warming, take the Uncrustable out of its packaging and lightly butter both sides. (I think I used an 1/8th of a teaspoon of room-temperature butter for the entire thing.) Place the sandwich between the plates and press down very gently so as not to disturb the jelly within. Cook for about a minute, until the Uncrustable is golden brown. Serve immediately with a cold glass of milk.