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TUCSON, AZ—Stressing that group dining could be a great way to bring together their disparate social groups and maybe even learn a few things about cooking, Arizona couple Brendon Tossier and Melissa Guilford spent Friday enthusiastically discussing plans to “invite friends over and call it a supper club” as they unknowingly brainstormed the end of their five-year relationship. “We could send out nice invites to all our friends, laying out a culinary theme so that everyone brings a dessert or side dish or even a craft cocktail,” said the visibly excited couple, unwittingly devising the self-imposed torture that would bring their romantic life together to a catastrophic halt in front of their closest friends. “You could serve a different cuisine every time: Japanese, Persian, Hawaiian. It’d be such a cool way to learn about all these different food cultures. Light some candles, put a few records on [and create the perfect stage for the last desperate gasps of our love life to die on]. Let’s start throwing a guest list together tonight!” Tossier almost immediately mentioned his “friendly, artistic coworker” who would be a perfect dinner party guest, inadvertently introducing the man who would replace him.

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