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SILVER SPRING, MD—Calling the deadly winds and torrential rain a “totally preventable” tropical storm, critics slammed the National Weather Service Wednesday after new evidence showed they failed to stop a recent hurricane despite having advanced warning. “It’s clear they’d been monitoring the cloud formation swirling off the Atlantic coast for days, but did absolutely nothing to destroy it before it made landfall,” said local government agent Francine Landis, noting that the storm, which flooded towns and toppled homes, might never have even touched down on the East Coast had the bureau successfully mobilized. “Given their Doppler radar images, the NWS had more than enough information to find and kill the storm once and for all. The truth is, their gross negligence is probably why this system grew from a Category 1 to a Category 4 hurricane in the first place.” At press time, the National Weather Service rebuked the report, stating that they had actually stopped countless cyclones, tornadoes, and typhoons but could not release details for national security reasons.

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